How to Find Your Authentic Voice
During the pandemic I spent an unusual amount of time attending online conferences, watching archived lectures, and listening to interviews on podcasts
I was interested in analyzing my experience of these talks and what it means to be authentic.
WHAT I THINK IT MEANS TO BE AUTHENTIC
As someone who has spent two decades as a documentary filmmaker, interviewing people and sharing their stories, I view authenticity as a feeling.
When I look at the people I’ve interviewed, that feeling seems to arise when a person is talking about something they are passionate about for which they have a deep knowledge.
Asking questions about their area of passion and knowledge energizes them. It is like they are lit up from the inside.
When I hit on this point of passion and knowledge, I can see them physically become more animated, they sit up straight, they lean in, their voice becomes more confident, they smile.
At these times, the interview pops out of the camera.
AUTHENTICITY IS CONGRUENCE
Here is a definition I found in Psychology Today, from a 2019 article about the work of Bill George who developed a course on “authentic leadership” taught at Harvard Business School.
Authenticity is about congruence between our deeper values and beliefs and our actions. – Psychology Today, 2019
We are authentic when we act and speak in accordance to our values.
As an audience we do not know for sure if someone is speaking from their values.
We perceive someone who is speaking passionately as evidence of this congruence and translate that to a feeling of authentically.
ENCOUNTERS WITH HUMANS AND THEIR AUTHENTIC VOICE
When I listened to a voice that sounded authentic, this is what each speaker had in common.
They embrace what they believe. They speak from a unique point of view. And they own their point of view.
They share how they came to their belief. They make it easy for you to understand how they came to believe what they believe. They are generous with their knowledge.
They express deep knowledge. You get the feeling that they are sharing just the tip of the iceberg of the research and knowledge they have to share.
WHY OUR AUTHENTIC VOICE IS SOMETHING WE HAVE TO FIND
We don’t show up out of the womb with our authentic voice.
In fact, there are many forces throughout our life pulling us away from our authentic voice.
We may have different values from the people we have been surrounded with - our families, our classmates, our bosses and/or our peers.
We may have expressed our passions and been dismissed, silenced or even threatened for what we shared.
I believe that if we do not find and express that authentic voice we become small, our light is dimmed, we often feel sad and depressed.
I believe that finding our authentic voice is a key to our happiness.
And when we are happy we have more energy and ability to bring our gifts to the world.
THE DEEP MECHANICS OF AUTHENTIC STORYTELLING
Here are three factors that impact our ability to speak authentically:
Situational: We are our most authentic when we are speaking directly about what we believe, to an audience whose perspective we know. This could be an audience who agrees with us or who disagrees with us. In both instances, if we know our audience we can share a story tailored to their needs and our objectives.
Prepared: It is easier to be authentic when we are prepared. Preparation includes knowing what we stand for, knowing our intentions in a given situation, and knowing the value we have to share.
Empathy: When we empathize with our audience it is easier to meet them where they are and bring the level of detail that will help them understand our point of view. When we start from where they are they feel respected and are more willing to hear our ideas.
Authentic storytelling involves a both self-knowledge and empathy towards others.
HOW TO FIND YOUR AUTHENTIC VOICE
The act of finding one’s voice involves both a revealing and a letting go.
Revealing is an interesting choice of words because it relates to making known what is not known. Being authentic means having awareness of what we don’t know. It involves inquiry and the ability to be flexible and curious about our thoughts and beliefs as we move through this complicated world.
Letting go is something we do as we release the ‘shoulds’, expectations of others and expectations from old self beliefs that no longer serve us. This too is a process rather than a destination.
Authenticity is not a static state, it is a state of listening to ourselves, to the world around us and showing up and sharing what we believe.
THE POWER OF AUTHENTICITY
Your authentic expressions moves people.
It has the power to connect and share a sense of what is possible.
It can feel vulnerable to share our passions. But this is how we change ourselves and the world.
YOUR AUTHENTICITY CHALLENGE
Tell us what you believe!
Let me know on Instagram if leaning into what you believe you get an energy boost, if you find yourself smiling more, and if you notice people react to you in conversations more enthusiastically.
And join me in the OWN YOUR STORY CHALLENGE, starting June 14. Click the link to join the challenge