Getting Unstuck - Form or fiction?
This summer I decided to rewrite my book about the WeStory. I determined this wasn’t an edit. I was going to keep the structure and write again from scratch.
The process of rewriting has been far from easy. Each day I feel a new form of stuckness. Just when I overcome one form another appears.
It is kind of disappointing because I wrote a course and book about getting unstuck. The Pause is an approach I take to move energy. And yet, here I was, getting stuck on a daily basis.
LET YOURSELF BE STUCK
Finally, yesterday I thought to myself, maybe getting stuck isn’t the issue. Maybe getting frustrated about getting stuck is causing me pain. What if I just let myself feel stuck and then look at why I am feeling stuck.
Afterall, I’ve been keeping to my commitment of writing two chapter a week. I’m not completely stuck even though it feels that way minute by minute.
Stuck: Form versus Fiction
Here is what I realized.
FICTION
When I felt emotional pain I was making up a story that:
“This time I won’t figure out how to write forward.”
“Who am I to be saying this.”
“What if this doesn’t make sense to other people? Or they think it is silly.”
Instead, I needed to ask myself, what do I want to say and why do I want to say it.
Each scene in a film has a reason. I now view each subsection of a chapter as a scene. It has to have a reason for being in the book.
FORM
I didn’t know how to state something boldly that was not based on knowledge I had gained from a lived experience or something I tested in the field.
I realized then that this ‘problem’ was not a content problem, it was an issue of FORM. It was a question of ‘how’ to write this rather than a question of ‘should/can’ I write this.
Armed with this insight I looked at the book I had been reading by Bessel van der Kolk. In his book, The Body Keeps the Score, he builds a case for a new way of looking at trauma. He outlines how trauma was once understood and shares the new science of trauma that he helped to pioneer. In the first half of the book he summaries the growing body of research in the areas of brain, neuroscience, the nervous system, emotions and more.
Every step of the way he built a case around his approach while explaining the science as it has evolved and he did this in a way that was easy to understand and fascinating to read.
I want to do the same thing on a micro-scale, outline the conventional wisdom and then share new ways of thinking about storytelling for social change.
Having a role model, my question shifted from ‘how should I approach making a bold statement’ to ‘how do I build this case?’
Having this lens I can also look at the many ways I’ve built cases in my documentary film work. In documentary I could build a case without using my words. I did so by interviewing experts or I juxtaposing speakers expressing different ideas or using animation to share historical or statistical information.
In film I’ve found many ways to build a case. I need to do the same for writing and having identified my goal I can write forward while looking for new role models and examples.
Show Up & Share
I attend a Shut Up & Write group four to five times a week. In the weekday sessions, Pax is a wonderful host who is diligent about checking in on my progress. I am so grateful for his prompts.
This week my reports have started out very brief. I was trying not to share my stuck places. I felt shame. How can I explain that I don’t know how to be bold? The fiction in my brain was telling me that people would think less of me if I admit this as my struggle.
And yet, I said it out loud.
And I felt the shame. But it was in feeling the shame and then shifting to inquiry, by asking myself ‘why do I feel this way’ that I got clear on how to move forward.
Keep Moving Forward
I have a feeling each day I’ll encounter a new type of discomfort. This happened to me when I became a filmmaker until at some point the pieces of the process, interviewing, filming, editing, writing grant proposals, sharing story ideas with others, they became easier and more natural.
I give myself permission to write forward, to get stuck, to feel the feelings, to ask questions and keep writing. I give myself permission to share my ideas and the truth of what I belief. I give myself permission to make mistakes, to edit, to rework my ideas, to get help.
At the end of the day the important thing is to show up and try. If you get stuck, ask yourself, is this a form issue or is this fiction?
Free Workshop: Getting Unstuck
November 2
If you have a very active imagination that is getting you stuck with all of the fiction it is creating, I invite you to join me on November 2 for a free workshop, Getting Unstuck. I’ll guide you through a powerful exercise to help you embrace and let go of that fiction through radical acceptance. Go to this link to sign up.