How to Stand in Your Power
As creative humans we often go against the grain of what the rest of society is saying.
This can feel uncomfortable. In this space we might want to shrink a little and speak softly.
However, to make the impact we wish to make we need to show up in our power.
What stands in the way of stepping into our power is our inability to accept or not accept parts of our past.
Your Story has Energy
I filmed over 80 interviews for my documentary, Beard Club. As a filmmaker I wanted to include every story.
As an editor, my job is to care about energy. If the energy of the film dips people stop watching and the film no longer works.
This is the art of editing.
For me energy is based on two components.
The energy of the film is based on structure – does this piece of information fit in this spot or is it distracting or confusing.
The energy of each character or idea in the film is based on voice – does this person or idea sound authentic and believable.
In the end, I had to lose stories I loved to serve the energy of the film. There is a term for this. We must ‘kill’ our darlings.
This act of filtering made me pay attention to ways people share their story.
I found that as an audience, we can tell if someone cares about what they are saying. And that caring translates to an energy, a feeling.
To an audience energy matters more than the words.
Meaning is important but energy is key for that meaning to be conveyed.
What Gives a Story Energy
When I was conducting customer interviews for IBM I had another realization.
I realized that the best interviewees were managers who expressed their care about their job and the results they generate. I still remember the manager who spoke about the challenges of keeping his servers up and running.
He shared stories of his employees being called in during the middle of the night to solve problems and the stress that caused both him and his employees.
He was willing to share the challenges before finding the solution.
Not everyone wanted to talk about the challenges they faced.
However, it is in knowing the challenges that we see the changes. We understand the results when we see the contrast.
The energy is in seeing the change. But to see the change you have to accept that things were not perfect at the start.
Authenticity is Built Upon Acceptance
If we are going to find our voice and show up authentically, we need to accept what is and what was.
Yet acceptance can be challenging because it means acknowledging our lessons learned and our mistakes as well as the results we create.
If we reject our mistakes we gloss over the reality of what happened in our lives and people looking for truth and authenticity feel uncomfortable with these missing pieces.
If we are shy about our results we lose opportunities to make an even greater impact often out of fear of our ability to meet the expectations that a success generates.
In both cases we become smaller.
In this state it is challenging to show up and share our stories.
Storytelling is More than Structure
Most storytelling training focuses on the structure of a story.
You can buy a book or join a program and learn how to structure your thoughts. You learn techniques to craft an argument and create a call to action. Maybe you learn a specific story formula.
What I am saying is that one of the keys to successfully craft your story is to accept your mistakes and your successes.
Embrace the journey that got you here.
And share that journey without making yourself better than or less than anyone else. Being different, yes, being better, no.
The Inside Story
I had a difficult time articulating my decision to move from being a video producer to becoming a story consultant.
I had to accept that my approach was different than many of the existing storytelling trainings and advice from many coaches.
First, my training starts from the inside and focuses on the intention of the storyteller. Many storytelling training starts by focusing outside, on the client and the market.
Second, I believe my client is the expert of their own story, I am here to midwife their story not give formulas. Frameworks, yes. Formulas, no. Many storytelling trainings are based on formulas.
Third, my approach to story is built on empowerment rather than conclusions. I believe in the power of bridging people’s understanding of an issue and inviting people forward rather than building conclusions and creating simple if/then endings. There are no heroes in my stories.
And finally I believe in asking questions and listening. I find that authentic answers emerge from questions and reflections rather than from lectures and formulas.
We rarely find time to explore our own places of resistance, our own approaches and our own truths. Given this lack of inner knowing and acceptance it is no wonder that as creatives and entrepreneurs we can feel inauthentic when telling our stories.
Finding your authentic voice is an inside job.
The Power of Acceptance
Standing in your power is about knowing what you believe and acting in alignment with that belief without being defensive, arrogant or feeling meek.
Getting to this place of power and acceptance is a process.
When you stand in your power your energy shines through.
Curiosity and Acceptance
A great way to move towards acceptance is to bring awareness and curiosity to our thoughts.
Here are three questions you can ask that will help you find the places where you could benefit from acceptance.
When I’m telling a story, am I able to own my challenges and my results.
If not, why is this so? And how is this impacting my ability to show up with energy when telling my story.
How can I step into accepting these challenges or these results?
I get useful insights when I ask myself these questions before I go to sleep. While sleeping the brain makes new associations as neural pathways connect in new and different ways with new and different questions.
Take the time you need to look at what you need to embrace to show up in your power. It is from this place where your energy will shine.
If you want to strengthen your acceptance muscles, join me for a 5-day Reignite Your Spark Challenge.
The doors are open to Find Your Authentic Voice. This 8-week program gives you the space and tools to do the inside and outside necessary to craft an authentic story so you can stand in your power and increase your impact, influence and income. We start August 9. Learn more here.